clusterF**k

Oh the infamous lemons. Life’s going to throw them at you when you least expect it and sometimes you don’t have the energy to deal with it. Running from your problems may solve them in the short term but they are more than likely to catch up to you later down the track; it’s better to deal with them as soon as they occur (even if you are not in the mood to deal with it). It’s not a good thing to leave them alone because you’ll end up holding grudges against friends, colleagues and even family members and trust me, you really don’t want to hold grudges because the negative energy that comes with a grudge will consume you. You’ll lose yourself in the process because all you’re focused about is being spiteful, hateful and uncooperative. Make lemonade out of the lemons because it’s always possible to turn something sour into something sweet (if you’re sensible and willing to do something about it!).

If you’re at fault but don’t realise it at the time then you may say some things that you would end up regretting. Try to keep your cool in arguments and try to listen to the other party, no matter how much you think you’re right because it might just turn out that you were wrong in the first place. I’ve recently made mistakes and it’s probably going to cost me the friendship between one of my really good friends. I thought the decision I made was good at the time but the lack of communication has made it into something that it should’ve never been. Yeah, I fucked up and I realise that now but at the same time I sort of feel lost because other issues were brought up of which I was not aware of. It’s these other issues that have confused me. In my eyes I don’t see what I’ve done wrong in relation to the issues but I’m willing to listen. I just hope that my friend can forgive me because I really shouldn’t have flaked out on her like that. Okay, sure, at the time I was unable to answer my phone because I was in town with my boyfriend getting hair cuts and I honestly did not see the messages until earlier that afternoon (forgetting to reply to them in the process).

I’ll do my best to fix everything because I have really good friends and I don’t want to lose people over a ticket to a show.

Friendship – The ability to communicate and share

“Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead. Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.”
– Albert Camus –

From the moment you are born, you have a unique personality which is “empty” but as you grow up, this personality grows into something greater and depending on the experiences you’ve had as a person, the more it will change. Some people (like me) find it hard to act normal in social situations but other people have the natural ability to socialize without feeling awkward in any way. It is because of this that some people find it easier to befriend people and some people have trouble. It all depends on the person’s personality. People like me who have trouble staying calm in populated areas have to try that extra bit harder in order to make friends. It’s simple. If you’re an insecure person with little confidence or self esteem, the world will be a much harder place for you to make friends. This being said, you shouldn’t give up on making friends.

We are only human and it is through friendship that we are able to live our lives to the fullest. We cannot live in this world without the power of friendship. it is impossible to accomplish anything if one doesn’t allow themselves to make friends. This being said, it is impossible for one to not have a single friend in the world. There are countless of people in this world and that means there are countless of personalities that come with those people. Every personality is unique but there are always people with similarities. It may be that you enjoy the same type of music as that person or you understand them for who they are. The main point is that everyone has friends, no matter how alone and lonely you may think you are. Now, you have to remember that the more friends you make, there is a possibility that you’ll make enemies along the way. Just ignore these people and try not to let them bother you. You are in charge of your own life not others. You have to be cautious when you choose who you befriend. There are always those who will pose as your friend but in reality they just want to use you in order to achieve some personal and selfish goal.

Find people with similar interests. Don’t be afraid to try new things in order to meet new people (I’m being a hypocrite here, I really should take my own advice, ahaha). This doesn’t mean that you change your personality and who you are to fit in. If someone can’t handle you for who you truly are then I’m sorry, that person isn’t even worth your time. This world is full of judgmental people and it’s because of this that people like myself find it really hard to enjoy life and the people around the world. There are two things that I look in a true friend: honesty and compassion. I’d rather a friend tell me the truth (even though it may be harsh at times) to my face rather than going behind my back and back stab you. You must understand your friend in order to be understood.

You cannot burden your darkness alone.