Finally, Fresh Air

Things are finally starting to get back on track again and it’s about damn time! I’m just super glad that the major issues have been solved and that I won’t have to worry about them anymore (or ever again for that matter!). Who knew living with someone could cause so much unwanted stress? Not me, that’s for sure (I do now though). I wasn’t quite sure what was causing me to be unhappy at the time but it became clear after a few months. I don’t know how I managed to live with someone so self cantered and toxic but I found a way – and paid dearly for my ignorance. Ah well, that’s unfortunately the hidden truth about shared houses and I guess I just got unlucky when it came down to who I was living with. It was a stressful few months and it has tested my patience and emotions but I think that I’ve come out of all the mess as a better person and a clearer mind. At least now I know what to look for in a room mate if I decide to move from my new house (which is really nice!).

Fortunately for me, I wasn’t left stranded when I decided to leave that toxic wasteland that I apparently called a home. My partner and his parents decided to let me stay with them until I was able to find my own place and get back up on my feet again. I would, of course, do the same in return for him anytime. I’m just really thankful for everything that they have done up until now and I’m glad to be up and running on my own two feet again. I don’t like the feeling on having to rely on others and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one out there who thinks the same. The last time I ever had to rely on someone else was when I first moved out of home. I guess I’m just so used to doing things for myself now and there’s so much more freedom involved. It’s your roof and your rules. There’s no one else there to stop you from doing what you want to do (unless you live with an insane, self-centred roomie!). I need a break from all this stress because I’m sick and tired of it.

Hopefully the near future will bring a lot more excitement and I hope everything works out in the end for my partner as well! I feel sorry for him and it’s frustrating that I can’t do anything else to help him out. He’s been looking for new work for about three months now and he’s still found nothing. It sucks because I know how hard he is trying and I’ve done all I can in my own power to help him but it’s really frustrating because I want him to succeed more than myself to be honest. Some people might think that’s a stupid thing but when you care about someone, you want them to succeed. Seeing him unhappy kills me and I just want to take away all that unhappy emotion and throw it out the window never to be seen again.

I’m happy that I was finally able to get my crap together and sorted but I don’t think I’ll feel content until my partner is happy too. I’m supporting him in every way possible but sometimes it feels as though I’m not doing enough and that’s probably the only thing that’s really upsetting me at the moment. Life really is a bitch sometimes and you can’t really do anything about it. The only thing you can do is to keep going in the hopes of finding something to make things right.

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