Sometimes I find myself losing my train of though and without realising it, I end up drifting off into my own little world. It’s almost as though my ears shut themselves off from everything around me and my eyes, after blinking, end up staring at an entire different world. Perhaps daydreaming is our way of ‘falling down a rabbit hole’ and finding our way into Wonderland; It’s a really odd feeling but it’s calming at the same time because you almost feel as though time has stopped or at least slowed down incredibly. The moment you spend in this state of mind feels like you’ve spent hours there and it also feels eerily familiar. You don’t feel any danger but you’re really cautious at the same time. I don’t know how to really explain it but you get the gist of it (I hope). You feel as though you can’t stop walking and can’t stop wandering around. Every turn, inch and step that you take is really up to your imagination and it feels like you can’t control where you’re going.
Anyway, I’m blabbering on about nothing but I might as well take the time to reflect myself and re-evaluate my situation because that’s long overdue. I don’t really know where I’m headed in life at the moment and I’m kind of just letting things happen as they go. It’s safe to say that I feel a bit insecure at the moment but hey, we’re all humans and I’m pretty sure we all go through phases like this. I’m in my prime age to find out exactly what I want to do with my life but it’s a little frustrating not having known from the start. Some people are really lucky when it comes to that and I envy them. They’re able to pursue it from the start without getting side-tracked by other ambitions or self doubt. I want to keep my options as open as possible but at the same time I already want to settle down and steam ahead with one major goal in life. What is it exactly that I want to do? What do I want to achieve? It’s funny that these things come to my subconscious mind when I’m having these ‘Wonderland’ moments. Oh well, as frustrating as it is not knowing what I exactly want to do, it’s good to have your options open. Who knows, perhaps my calling card will come to me soon.
Next time I ‘fall down the rabbit hole’ and drift off, I hope that my mind decides to take me somewhere uplifting and vibrant. It’s unpredictable though and that’s the thing about ‘Wonderland’… you end up searching for yourself, just like Alice did. In a way, you forget who you are for a moment of time and everything your mind visualizes seems real. It doesn’t matter if it’s good or bad.
Perhaps Wonderland does exist after all… I wonder if everyone’s own ‘Wonderland’ is a reflection of themselves. It could serve as a warning for some future events that may occur due to the actions you’ve decided to take.