DO you ever just…

“Asdfghjkladsfjlabhddsadfdagjkdfgouidagjl” Gibberish? Yeah, that’s kind of what’s going in my mind at the moment. Not sure what’s in the air today (perhaps it’s my colleague’s farts setting things off) but EVERY – SINGLE – THING is pissing me off today. It doesn’t matter how insignificant and small the problem is because apparently my brain thinks that they’re all on the same level of utter horse manure at the moment. Why isn’t the stapler full of staples? Is my hair TRYING to piss me off on purpose by being slightly off centre? Why are the tissues blue instead of white? WILL THE PHONES IN THE OFFICE JUST SHUT UP FOR 30 SECONDS?! Snap, crackle, pop. Rinse and repeat.  It’s just like the rice bubbles cereal except instead of cereal pieces, it’s the brain cells in my head doing the snapping, crackling and popping. I can’t even stare at something for two whole seconds (Oh the horror!) without either wanting to set it on fire OR throw whatever it is out the window and THEN set the thing on fire. Hopefully it’s going to get struck by lightning too. Oh I’m overreacting? Tell that to mother nature. WHY THE HELL MUST YOU BE ALL SO DOOM AND GLOOM TODAY?! The weather man is a liar. A freaking L-I-A-R I tell you! Now my umbrella is sitting in my bed where I’d much rather be right now. God it’s cold. Why the fuck did I decide to wear short sleeves in winter? Oh no, no, no. It’s obviously not my fault; let’s all blame the weatherman because he’s oh, I don’t know, a liar.

Let’s not even get started with how slow the office computer is today. Oh no, it’s doing things 0.5 seconds late. It’s okay. It’s not like I’m busy or anything. Just take your sweet ass time sending that email. The computer is being selfish! Yeah, that’s what it’s doing. It has no regards for anyone but itself because it does things according to its schedule and never time mine. DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO TURNED YOU ON THIS MORNING?! God, you’re so freaking inconsiderate! Grrrrrrrrrr!!! I hate people. I hate machines. I hate pretty much anything and everything. Oh wait, I don’t hate food. Ice cream never talks back to you and nor does a pizza… or burger… or fries… mmm… food… … Oh shut the fuck up Mariah! I’m having a happy moment thinking about food here! Now is NOT the time for your squealing-filled-song about you and Nick! I suppose you’re not to blame; the phone put your song on after all. Stupid machines.

Anyway, I guess I better get me and my resting bitch face (Oh yeah, it’s there) back to work before some asshole decides to tell me off for not doing work and blogging instead. How freaking rude and inconsiderate would that be?!

Peace out. Set things on fire. Wait, I mean spread love, happiness and rainbows.

 

 

…and then set things on fire Smile.

Love you all! Except if you’re the weatherman. Fuck you weatherman.

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Wonderland

Sometimes I find myself losing my train of though and without realising it, I end up drifting off into my own little world. It’s almost as though my ears shut themselves off from everything around me and my eyes, after blinking, end up staring at an entire different world. Perhaps daydreaming is our way of ‘falling down a rabbit hole’ and finding our way into Wonderland; It’s a really odd feeling but it’s calming at the same time because you almost feel as though time has stopped or at least slowed down incredibly. The moment you spend in this state of mind feels like you’ve spent hours there and it also feels eerily familiar. You don’t feel any danger but you’re really cautious at the same time. I don’t know how to really explain it but you get the gist of it (I hope). You feel as though you can’t stop walking and can’t stop wandering around. Every turn, inch and step that you take is really up to your imagination and it feels like you can’t control where you’re going.

Anyway, I’m blabbering on about nothing but I might as well take the time to reflect myself and re-evaluate my situation because that’s long overdue. I don’t really know where I’m headed in life at the moment and I’m kind of just letting things happen as they go. It’s safe to say that I feel a bit insecure at the moment but hey, we’re all humans and I’m pretty sure we all go through phases like this. I’m in my prime age to find out exactly what I want to do with my life but it’s a little frustrating not having known from the start. Some people are really lucky when it comes to that and I envy them. They’re able to pursue it from the start without getting side-tracked by other ambitions or self doubt. I want to keep my options as open as possible but at the same time I already want to settle down and steam ahead with one major goal in life. What is it exactly that I want to do? What do I want to achieve? It’s funny that these things come to my subconscious mind when I’m having these ‘Wonderland’ moments. Oh well, as frustrating as it is not knowing what I exactly want to do, it’s good to have your options open. Who knows, perhaps my calling card will come to me soon.

Next time I ‘fall down the rabbit hole’ and drift off, I hope that my mind decides to take me somewhere uplifting and vibrant. It’s unpredictable though and that’s the thing about ‘Wonderland’… you end up searching for yourself, just like Alice did. In a way, you forget who you are for a moment of time and everything your mind visualizes seems real. It doesn’t matter if it’s good or bad.

Perhaps Wonderland does exist after all… I wonder if everyone’s own ‘Wonderland’ is a reflection of themselves. It could serve as a warning for some future events that may occur due to the actions you’ve decided to take.