Sometimes I find myself losing my train of though and without realising it, I end up drifting off into my own little world. It’s almost as though my ears shut themselves off from everything around me and my eyes, after blinking, end up staring at an entire different world. Perhaps daydreaming is our way of ‘falling down a rabbit hole’ and finding our way into Wonderland; It’s a really odd feeling but it’s calming at the same time because you almost feel as though time has stopped or at least slowed down incredibly. The moment you spend in this state of mind feels like you’ve spent hours there and it also feels eerily familiar. You don’t feel any danger but you’re really cautious at the same time. I don’t know how to really explain it but you get the gist of it (I hope). You feel as though you can’t stop walking and can’t stop wandering around. Every turn, inch and step that you take is really up to your imagination and it feels like you can’t control where you’re going.

Anyway, I’m blabbering on about nothing but I might as well take the time to reflect myself and re-evaluate my situation because that’s long overdue. I don’t really know where I’m headed in life at the moment and I’m kind of just letting things happen as they go. It’s safe to say that I feel a bit insecure at the moment but hey, we’re all humans and I’m pretty sure we all go through phases like this. I’m in my prime age to find out exactly what I want to do with my life but it’s a little frustrating not having known from the start. Some people are really lucky when it comes to that and I envy them. They’re able to pursue it from the start without getting side-tracked by other ambitions or self doubt. I want to keep my options as open as possible but at the same time I already want to settle down and steam ahead with one major goal in life. What is it exactly that I want to do? What do I want to achieve? It’s funny that these things come to my subconscious mind when I’m having these ‘Wonderland’ moments. Oh well, as frustrating as it is not knowing what I exactly want to do, it’s good to have your options open. Who knows, perhaps my calling card will come to me soon.

Next time I ‘fall down the rabbit hole’ and drift off, I hope that my mind decides to take me somewhere uplifting and vibrant. It’s unpredictable though and that’s the thing about ‘Wonderland’… you end up searching for yourself, just like Alice did. In a way, you forget who you are for a moment of time and everything your mind visualizes seems real. It doesn’t matter if it’s good or bad.

Perhaps Wonderland does exist after all… I wonder if everyone’s own ‘Wonderland’ is a reflection of themselves. It could serve as a warning for some future events that may occur due to the actions you’ve decided to take.

It was only just a dream

I’m pretty sure you’ve had experiences where your dreams seemed so real at the time. I honestly thought you were awake and you were that hero in your dream or whatever your imagination decided to conjure up that night. Everything just seemed so real, the things you touched, the seemingly perfect lifestyle that you were living in your dream. When you wake, you can only recall the last thing that happened. You sit on your bed and ponder why it felt so real and ask yourself “Why did it have to end?” If only there was a way to go back to that “reality”. Everything just seems so much better when we’re dreaming. I personally think that someone should invent a button that sends you back into the same dream world (It’s impossible, I should stop trying).

The same thing goes for music, if you relate to it, you begin to think and dream about experiences that you’ve had. I’ve done this many times and the results were often tears of sadness but it can also bring me joy. I often listen to songs on the lowest volume that my iphone has to offer as I drift off to sleep. I leave the music playing and surprisingly, I always wake up in a better mood the next day. I don’t know if it’s just me but hey, it works! I’ve had those moments where my dreams were too realistic and when I wake, I lose sight of reality for just a second trying to figure out if this was real or not. I’ve always pondered if we were living in a dream and if someone was watching our every move. Sort of like “The Sims”! Will we wake up one morning as a different life form and realize that our entire life as humans was just a big and cruel dream? Probably not but you can’t help but think about it sometimes.

I talked about the darkness that with within me before and I guess my dreams are away to escape this harsh reality that life has thrown at us. I’d rather live in that world of illusion and eternal happiness. Who wouldn’t? Now, I’m not saying that life here is totally crap but sometimes you can’t help it and you want everything to go away. The moon always fascinated me, I spent quite a long time looking up at it and just thinking about what the next day would bring. Sometimes I just hope that I would have a good dream because of the events that happened the day before.

Music and the ability to dream. I wouldn’t be here without those two things right now.